Rushing about, I snatched his set of car keys and quickly slammed the door. I knew we had to get out before he returned or he would stop me. I threw a few belongings and a suitcase in the trunk of the car, and then we sped away. He had become abusive. He had gone over the edge and had become a rampaging theological mad man fully consumed by the deceit of his addiction.
He threatened to take the kids away from me. He said if I left, “He would be the bulldog that is he, twist everything around, and take the children.” He had crossed the line. He was like an out of control wildfire, destroying all family relationships and leaving behind complete destruction. I did not know it at the time, but the action I took that day changed the direction of my life and that of my children forever. The Lord scooped us up, taking us out of a bad and harmful environment and way of life. He saved us. He released us. God set us free.
My husband wanted nothing to do with family, be it mine, or even his own blood relatives. He isolated us and cut us off from all family, long-time friends, and even the church. If people did not agree with his newfound belief and obsession, his passion in life, they were out, to be cut off from relationship with us. He even wanted to replace his own parents. His exact words were, “Let the dead bury the dead.”
Broken, scared, and confused I showed up on my parent’s doorstep that day, with my three kids in tow and did not leave for the next six months. My world had spun completely out-of-control. As awkward as it was, I knew we would be safe there. I felt like such a failure.
I had tried to hold it together. I was not going to give up. I had decided we were going to make it. We were married, husband and wife before God. I took a vow and even looked upon our unhappy marriage as a lifetime commitment. And yet, there I stood with my children and a few belongings I had grabbed as I scurried out the door. The inscription I had engraved in my husband’s wedding band read: “So then, they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” Matthew 19:6.
I knew of his troubled and tumultuous past. I also knew he was a child of God, saved by grace, redeemed by Christ’s blood, forgiven and washed clean. Desperately alone in a world of couples and families I wanted companionship and a family of my own and I was seeking to fill a void. I now know and understand, only Christ can fill the emptiness found in the human heart. We are here on this earth to get to know our Creator, and to tell others about His love for us. Psalm 105:4 says, “Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always.”
I am on a journey with my Savior. He is now my Hope and Source of Happiness. He fills my heart with His perfect and unfailing unconditional love for me. I am His princess and a daughter of the One True King! And, Jesus is my Husband.
I am His masterpiece. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” I am trusting in Jesus. He has worked miraculously in the lives of my children and I. We are being loved, taught, and provided for by the Creator of the Universe. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” Thank you, Father God!
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Copyright 2014 Goldie